


it's okay (i'm here for you)

by dunklenacht



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Han Jisung | Han-centric, I Made Myself Cry, Insecurity, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Non Idol AU, Sweet Hwang Hyunjin, but 3racha are lowkey a thing idk, but they are really brief, hyunsung rise, lowkey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2020-01-05 21:39:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18374594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dunklenacht/pseuds/dunklenacht
Summary: Jisung doesn’t deserve Hyunjin. He really doesn't. Hyunjin deserves so much better than him.





	it's okay (i'm here for you)

**Author's Note:**

> hello!!!
> 
> so basically after watching two kids room with hyunsung today i realized how much i love them and how Bad i want to write about them and then this happened so uhhh enjoy!! also this is also me ranting about my thoughts tbh

Hyunjin has always been beautiful in Jisung's eyes. He's always been the one who would light up a dark room just with his smile. No matter where they'd go together, people would always look at Hyunjin and turn around, to take a second look at him. The younger usually wasn't one who got possessive and jealous but in times like these, he did. He understood why people would turn around for him, stop everything just they could look at him. Hell, he did it too before they started dating and sometimes he would still it too, because Jisung couldn't believe that out of all people, Hyunjin would choose him. Weird, loud Jisung. It was a miracle to him.

 

The blond haired boy sighed loudly and closed his notebook. He's been trying to write some lyrics for his songs for too long now and all he could think about was Hyunjin. And the fact that Hyunjin ended up choosing him after all. Even after a year Jisung was still insecure and wouldn't quite believe that all of this was real. Hyunjin was perfect. He cared about him, loved him, made him laugh and was there for him when no one else was. He just was the most perfect boyfriend anyone could ever have. And yet, Jisung has never told the older one about his insecurities. He knew Hyunjin could sense it but he simply just didn't want to bother the other with his dumb and annoying thought.

 

Grumpily he made his way back to the apartment he and his boyfriend shared. He was mad that once again he didn't get anything onto the papers. He promised Chan and Changbin, his group mates, that he would get something done while they were in Rome taking their well deserved vacation as a couple but it just didn't seem to work. Everytime he was alone, his thoughts became loud, too loud for his liking and they were all he could think of.

 

* * *

 

 

Once he came home and the smell of pancakes got to him all these bad thoughts disappeared. Jisung smiled knowingly and took his shoes and coat off before tiptoeing into the kitchen where he found his ethereal boyfriend, making his delicious pancakes. (Which was, to be honest, the only thing Hyunjin could cook. That was his only flaw but it was endearing)

 

„Hey.“ Jisung said in a small voice which made Hyunjin flinch slightly and he turned around, making the younger breathless as so often. His black hair was a little messy just like his apron and his big eyes formed into little half moons once he saw his boyfriend.

 

„Baby! Hey! I thought you'd come home much later... But I made pancakes!“

 

„Yeah, I figured. And I didn't have any inspiritation so I thought I'd call it a day.“

 

Hyunjin raised his eyebrows, probably sensing that something was wrong but he quickly moved on, talking about his day at college and his annoying professors. Even just hearing him talk about this, made Jisung's heart flutter. He really didn't deserve any of this, he didn't deserve Hwang Hyunjin.

 

* * *

 

 

After they ate the pancakes (which were amazing as always, he was really good at this) they cuddled on the couch while watching a cheesy drama Hyunjin was currently interested in. But once again, Jisung couldn't focus on the drama or anything else than the voices in his mind, telling him that Hyunjin deserved so much better than him, someone who wasn't this weird and would be total normal. Someone who was beautiful just as he was, someone who was better at expressing his feelings, someone who had a better body, someone-

 

„Baby? Are you okay? You are shaking. Are you cold?“ Hyunjin suddenly asked, wrapping his arms tighter around the boy which only shook his head, maybe a little too hard because he could feel the tears he's been fighting for so long falling down and he sobbed loudly.

 

„Jisung? Baby, oh my god, what's wrong?“

 

The younger couldn't answer he just buried his head deeper into Hyunjin's chest and cried harder than he had in weeks.

 

Pathetic. He was so pathetic. He just ruined a lovely evening with Hyunjin. Why couldn't he do anything right?

 

It took some time before Jisung had fully calmed down and only a few tears were still rolling down his cheeks.

 

Hyunjin hadn't said anything the whole time, he just patted Jisung's blonde hair and kissed his head a few times.

 

„I-I'm sorry. I ruined tonight.“ Jisung whispered, voice hoarse from all the sobbing.

 

„No, no, Jisung, you didn't ruin anything. It's okay to cry. It really is. Do.. Do you wanna talk about it? It might make you feel better, but you don't have to. But please remember that I'm always there for you, baby.“

 

Hyunjin's voice was so soft and comforting it almost made Jisung cry again.

 

„That is exactly what has been bothering me. You being so... perfect. All what you do for me and others is so selfless. You care so much about everyone and you are so sweet to everyone. And god, you are so so so beautiful. I don't even know how I should describe your beauty. You are so fucking perfect and I'm just... this. I'm weird, ugly and too loud. I don't deserve you. And these thoughts have been in my mind for too god damn long and I thought they would go away but they don't and I am so sorry, you deserve so much better than me.“

 

It was silent for a moment and Jisung thought he ruined it all. Everything.

 

„Jisung. Look at me.“

 

The younger was terrified but did as he was told and the black haired boy looked at him with such adoration and love in his eyes that it almost made his Jisung's heart explode.

 

„Listen to me, Han Jisung. You know why I love you? I love you because you are cute, funny, kind, smart, talented and so so gorgeous. You take my breath away every single morning in a complete different way. It always surprises me how much I feel for you and if I'm honest it scared me a little at first because I never felt this way about anyone. You just... make me so god damn happy and I wouldn't know what to do without you. I'm so lucky to have you in my life and trust me when I say this, you deserve me. More than anything. The same way I deserve you. Jisung, a few years ago I'd have called all of this love at the first sight stuff bullshit because I didn't believe that anything as pure as this existed. But you, you opened my eyes. Why do you think that I watch all of these cheesy dramas? Because they remind me how it feels like, to slowly but at the same time fast fall in love with the most amazing person ever. I love you so so damn much, baby and nothing could ever change that.“

 

Jisung didn't realize that he started crying again until Hyunjin wiped some tears away from his cheeks. And he smiled. They both did.

 

„I love you. So much. You can't even imagine.“

 

And with that, the younger kissed the older with all the passion and love he had in him and Hyunjin made a happy noise when Jisung tilted his head so he had more access. Hyunjin's hands were caressing Jisung's waist which turned him into a puddle and he whined quietly which made the black haired one chuckle.

 

As they parted, they intertwined  their hands and Hyunjin rubbed little circles around Jisung's hand with his thumb.

 

„Promise me, if the thoughts ever get this bad, talk to me, okay? I love you.“

 

„I promise. I love you too.“

 


End file.
